im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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