I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
third nipple confirmed
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
