I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
