You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Everything about him screamed your future.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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