I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
