I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
