I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
