where am i from again
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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