I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Randomize
