Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
