One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
