you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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