I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
