check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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