Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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