hotel room ftw
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Operation Purity has been aborted
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize