So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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