Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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