Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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