By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
