Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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