try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
