quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
