the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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