airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
