I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
