apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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