I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
