why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
