I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
