is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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