you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
