I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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