Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i need some magic done to my vagina
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
