took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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