That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
