I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
