Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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