Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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