Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
