i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
