Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
