Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
is it fun? or sober?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
