how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize