Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
whose parrot is this?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
