You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
