your thong is hanging out like whoa
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
