I just cut my nipple shaving
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We have started to decorate penises.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
