just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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