My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
