How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
