Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
