____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
