Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
