By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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