he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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