Reggie can tackle my bush.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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