The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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