i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
