He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
