im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
