Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
