Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You need a sexual gate keeper
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
