Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think people are normalizing furries
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
